In this episode, Holly unpacks the pervasive issue of procrastination and self-sabotage that often hinders our personal growth and fulfillment. Holly exposes the roots of these self-defeating behaviors, exploring how procrastination steals our time, diminishes productivity, increases stress, and erodes self-esteem.
You’ll discover practical strategies to break free from procrastination, including cognitive-behavioral techniques, mindfulness practices, and actionable tips for enhancing motivation and productivity. Holly also breaks down the unique challenges women face, such as societal expectations, self-doubt, and emotional labor, providing tailored solutions to overcome these barriers.
Let’s explore the detrimental effects of procrastination, understand the mental roadblocks that keep us stuck, and learn how to reclaim our time and goals. With engaging listener stories and real-life examples, this episode is packed with insights to help you take the first step towards a more empowered, fulfilling life.
Don’t miss out on this transformative episode! Listen now and take the first step towards overcoming procrastination and self-sabotage. Remember to visit Holly’s website at www.hollytoscanini.com to sign up for the Freedom From Diets Assessment, designed to help you break free from patterns that hold you back and live your most empowered life.
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How to Stop Procrastinating: Empowering Women to Achieve Their Goals
In today’s episode we’re talking about something many of us struggle with: overcoming procrastination and self-sabotage. These habits can hold us back from living our most empowered, fulfilled lives. But don’t worry, we’re going to tackle them head-on and arm you with practical strategies to move forward. You won’t want to miss this.
Hello and welcome to another episode of Say, “When!”—the podcast dedicated to challenging diet culture, dismantling patriarchal norms, and helping you reclaim your body and mind. I’m your host, Holly Toscanini, your non-diet lifestyle coach, here to guide you on a journey of intuitive eating, body acceptance, and reconnecting with your inner wisdom.
In our quest to live more authentically and embrace who we truly are, there’s one common roadblock that often gets in the way: procrastination. It’s something we’ve all experienced, whether it’s putting off a work project, delaying a personal goal, or avoiding a difficult conversation. Procrastination can keep us stuck, holding us back from reaching our full potential. But don’t worry, today we’re going to tackle it head-on.
Procrastination is a sneaky little habit that we’ve all encountered. It’s that voice in our head saying, “You can do it later. There’s always tomorrow.” We’ve all been there, right? Whether it’s putting off a work project or delaying a personal goal, procrastination often masquerades as a harmless break. But let’s be honest, it’s a master of disguise, offering temporary relief while secretly plotting our downfall.
Procrastination might seem like a harmless pause, but it’s really not. It tricks us into thinking we have all the time in the world, saying, ‘You can do it tomorrow.’ But, spoiler alert: tomorrow never comes. The longer we delay, the more we distance ourselves from our dreams and goals.
Chronic procrastination doesn’t just steal our time—it robs us of opportunities, diminishes our productivity, heightens our stress levels, and chips away at our self-esteem.
Now, let’s talk about a close relative of procrastination: task paralysis. This is when the sheer volume or complexity of tasks makes us feel overwhelmed to the point where we do nothing at all. Picture this: you have a to-do list as long as a CVS receipt, and instead of picking an item to start with, you freeze like a deer in headlights. Task paralysis keeps us stuck, convincing us that the mountain of tasks is too steep to climb, so why even try?
Task paralysis often stems from perfectionism and fear of failure. We set such high standards for ourselves that starting feels impossible because we’re afraid we won’t measure up. It’s a vicious cycle— the more we avoid, the more our anxiety grows, and the harder it becomes to start.
By understanding the detrimental effects of procrastination and task paralysis, we can awaken the urgency within us to act now.
“So, let’s dive in, unpack the roots of these self-sabotaging behaviors, and discover how we can reclaim our time, reach our goals, and reaffirm our self-worth.
To start, it’s important to understand the profound impact that procrastination can have on our lives.
Let’s explore some of the key effects of procrastination and how they can hold us back.
1. Missed Opportunities: Procrastination can cause us to miss out on valuable opportunities that could advance our careers or enrich our personal lives. Whether it’s applying for a dream job, starting a new project, or even nurturing personal relationships, delaying action often means losing out on potential growth and success. For instance, you might delay applying for a job because you think you’re not ready or good enough. By the time you muster the courage, the opportunity has passed.
2. Reduced Productivity: When we delay tasks, we often end up rushing to complete them at the last minute. This hurried approach typically results in lower-quality work and higher stress levels. The constant cycle of catching up can prevent us from performing at our best and achieving our full potential. Think about the last-minute rush before a deadline—it’s stressful and usually doesn’t yield your best work.
3. Increased Stress: The looming pressure of unfinished tasks can create a constant undercurrent of stress and anxiety. This stress isn’t just mental; it can manifest physically as well, leading to headaches, insomnia, and other stress-related health issues. The weight of these unfinished tasks can drain our energy and negatively impact our overall well-being. Have you ever felt that nagging stress because of a task you’ve been putting off? It’s like a cloud hanging over your head.
4. Lowered Self-Esteem: Chronic procrastination can diminish our belief in our abilities and lead to a negative self-image. When we repeatedly fail to meet our own expectations, it can erode our confidence and foster feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. This negative self-perception can become a self-fulfilling prophecy, making it even harder to break the cycle of procrastination. Imagine setting a goal to start a new hobby but never finding the time. Each delay chips away at your belief in your ability to commit.
Understanding these effects is the first step toward overcoming procrastination. Recognizing the cost of our delays can help build the urgency to act now. By addressing procrastination head-on, we can reclaim our time, improve our productivity, reduce stress, and bolster our self-esteem. Let’s commit to taking small steps today to create a brighter, more fulfilling tomorrow.
But, what do we do when we just can’t get started?
We’ve all faced that moment where starting a task, project, or assignment feels like climbing Mount Everest. But what’s going on in our minds that causes this resistance? And why is it particularly challenging for women?
Let’s start by Understanding some of the Mental Roadblocks
1. Fear of Failure: One of the most significant reasons we resist taking action is the fear of not measuring up. This fear can be paralyzing, making the task seem insurmountable. The thought of not meeting expectations—whether our own or others’—can create a mental block that stops us in our tracks. It’s like standing at the edge of a diving board, too afraid to jump because you fear belly-flopping instead of gracefully diving.
2. Perfectionism: Closely tied to the fear of failure is perfectionism. We set unrealistically high standards for ourselves, believing that anything less than perfect is unacceptable. This mindset can make starting a task daunting because we anticipate all the ways it could go wrong. It’s as if you’re writing the first sentence of a novel and expect it to be Pulitzer Prize-worthy right away. We need to learn to be okay with B and C work- stop always striving for the A+
3. Overwhelm: When we look at a task in its entirety, it can seem overwhelming. This is especially true for larger projects with many moving parts. The sheer size of the task can make us feel paralyzed, unsure of where to begin. Imagine trying to organize your entire house in one day—it’s so overwhelming that you don’t even start.
Why do you think This is Particularly Challenging for Women?
1. Societal Expectations: As women we often face unique pressures from society that add to the challenge. Expectations to balance work, family, and personal responsibilities can create a constant feeling of being stretched too thin. The need to excel in multiple roles can amplify feelings of overwhelm and perfectionism. We are often expected to be perfect mothers, diligent workers, and supportive partners, and still find time for self-care—talk about a tall order!
2. Self-Doubt: Women are more likely to experience self-doubt and imposter syndrome, which can hinder our ability to start tasks confidently. The internalized belief that we aren’t good enough can make the first step feel impossible. Have you ever felt like you’re not really qualified for a job you’re perfectly capable of doing? That’s imposter syndrome rearing its ugly head.
3. Emotional Labor: Women often bear the brunt of emotional labor, both at home and in the workplace. This invisible work—managing relationships, anticipating needs, and providing emotional support—can drain energy and make it harder to tackle additional tasks. Think about how women often remember everyone’s birthdays, manage the household schedule, and provide emotional support to friends and family—it’s exhausting!
Now let’s talk about some Strategies we can use to Overcome Resistance.
1. Break It Down: Divide the task into smaller, manageable steps. Instead of focusing on the entire project, concentrate on completing one small part. This can make the task feel less overwhelming and more achievable. For example, if you need to clean your house, start with just one room or even just one corner of a room.
2. Set Realistic Goals: Perfection is an unrealistic standard. Aim for progress, not perfection. Setting realistic, attainable goals can reduce the pressure and make it easier to get started. If you’re learning a new skill, don’t expect to be an expert overnight. Celebrate the small wins along the way.
3. Create a Plan: Outline a clear plan with specific actions and deadlines. Having a roadmap can provide direction and make the task less daunting. Use tools like planners or apps to organize your tasks and set deadlines for each step.
4. Seek Support: Don’t hesitate to ask for help or lean on your support network. Whether it’s delegating tasks or seeking advice, support can lighten the load and provide motivation. Reach out to friends, family, or colleagues who can offer assistance or encouragement.
5. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. Recognize that everyone struggles with procrastination and task paralysis at times. Practice self-compassion and give yourself permission to start imperfectly. Remember, it’s okay to make mistakes and learn from them.
6. Set a Timer: Commit to working on the task for just 10-15 minutes. Often, the hardest part is getting started, and once you begin, momentum can carry you forward. Use techniques like the Pomodoro Technique. This is a time management method that helps people work more productively by breaking their day into focused work intervals and short breaks. The technique is based on the idea of working with time instead of against it.
7. Visualize Success: Imagine the sense of accomplishment and relief you’ll feel once the task is completed. Visualizing the positive outcome can boost motivation and reduce anxiety. Picture yourself enjoying the benefits of finishing the task, whether it’s a clean house, a completed project, or a new skill mastered.
By understanding the mental barriers and societal factors that contribute to task paralysis, especially for women, we can develop strategies to overcome these challenges. Remember, taking the first step, no matter how small, is a victory in itself.
Now that we’ve overcome our resistance, lets review some Strategies for Overcoming Procrastination and Self-Sabotage
This is all about using cognitive-behavioral techniques, practical tips to increase motivation and productivity, and tools to cultivate a growth mindset.
Let’s explore some effective strategies.
Cognitive-behavioral techniques (CBT) are powerful tools for addressing procrastination and self-sabotage by helping us identify and change negative thought patterns. These techniques can transform the way we approach tasks, making them feel more manageable and less daunting.
Here are some specific CBT methods and examples:
First, there’s Cognitive Restructuring
It involves challenging and reframing negative thoughts that hinder our ability to start or complete tasks. By changing these thoughts, we can alter our emotional response and behavior.
Example 1: Reframing Negative Thoughts
Negative Thought: “I’ll never be able to finish this task.”
Reframed Thought: “I can break this task into smaller, manageable steps and tackle them one at a time.”
Scenario: Imagine you want to start meditating daily but feel overwhelmed by the commitment. Break it down:
– Step 1: Set aside 5 minutes in the morning.
– Step 2: Find a quiet spot.
– Step 3: Use a meditation app for guided sessions.
– Step 4: Gradually increase the duration each week.
By focusing on smaller, actionable steps, the task becomes less intimidating, and each completed step builds momentum.
Example 2: Addressing Perfectionism
Negative Thought: “This has to be perfect, or it’s not worth doing.”
Reframed Thought: “Doing my best is enough. I can always make improvements later.”
Scenario: You need to prepare a presentation, and your perfectionism is causing you to procrastinate. Remind yourself that the first draft doesn’t have to be flawless. Start by creating a rough outline and filling in details gradually. Accepting that it’s okay to revise and improve as you go can reduce the pressure and help you start sooner.
Next, we have Behavioral Activation
Behavioral activation involves engaging in activities that can help overcome procrastination. It focuses on taking small actions to break the cycle of inaction.
Example 1: Setting a Timer
Technique: Use a timer to commit to working on a task for a short, specified period (e.g., 15 minutes). Like the Pomodoro Technique I mentioned earlier.
Scenario: You’re dreading cleaning out your closet. Set a timer for 15 minutes and commit to working on it for just that time. Often, starting is the hardest part, and once you begin, you may find it easier to continue even after the timer goes off.
Example 2: Rewarding Progress
Technique: Reward yourself for completing small milestones.
Scenario: You need to write a series of emails for your coaching program. Set a goal to write one email, then reward yourself with a small treat, like a favorite snack or a short break. Associating progress with positive reinforcement can increase your motivation to continue.
Then there’s Mindfulness and Acceptance
Mindfulness involves staying present and accepting your thoughts and feelings without judgment. This approach can reduce the anxiety and stress that often accompany procrastination.
Example 1: Mindful Breathing
Technique: Practice mindful breathing exercises to calm your mind before starting a task.
Scenario: You’re feeling anxious about starting a new project. Spend a few minutes focusing on your breath, inhaling deeply and exhaling slowly. This practice can help center your thoughts and reduce anxiety, making it easier to begin.
Example 2: Acceptance of Imperfection
Technique: Embrace the idea that imperfection is part of the process.
Scenario: You’re hesitant to start a creative project because you’re worried it won’t be perfect. Acknowledge that mistakes and imperfections are natural and can lead to growth and improvement. Start the project with the understanding that it’s a learning experience, not a test of your worth.
Finally let’s learn to Challenge Catastrophic Thinking
Catastrophic thinking involves expecting the worst possible outcome, which can paralyze us with fear. Challenging these thoughts can help us see tasks more realistically.
Example 1: Questioning Catastrophic Thoughts
Negative Thought: “If I fail at this, it will be a disaster.”
Challenging Thought: “What’s the worst that could happen? How likely is that? Even if I make a mistake, I can learn from it and try again.”
Scenario: You need to give a presentation and fear you’ll embarrass yourself. Ask yourself: What’s the worst that could happen? Will it truly be catastrophic? Recognize that most mistakes are not as severe as we imagine, and use this understanding to reduce fear and take action.
Example 2: Reframing Outcomes
Negative Thought: “If this doesn’t go perfectly, I’ve failed.”
Reframed Thought: “Any outcome is a learning opportunity. Imperfect results can still be valuable.”
Scenario: You’re reluctant to submit a proposal because you fear rejection. Reframe your mindset to view the experience as valuable regardless of the outcome. Whether accepted or not, you’ll gain insights that can improve future efforts.
By incorporating these cognitive-behavioral techniques, we can break the cycle of procrastination and self-sabotage. Understanding and addressing our negative thought patterns can empower us to take action, reduce stress, and achieve our goals.
I want to share with you what I think are the best Practical Tips for Motivation and Productivity
Increasing motivation and productivity requires practical strategies that can be easily integrated into your daily routine. Here are some effective methods to help you stay focused and accomplish your goals.
Start by Setting Clear Goals
Setting clear, specific goals gives you a sense of direction and purpose. It’s important to break these goals down into smaller, actionable steps to make them less overwhelming.
Example 1: SMART Goals
Set a Specific Goal: Instead of setting a vague goal like “meditate more,” define it clearly: “I will meditate for 10 minutes every morning.”
Monitor your progress: Use a meditation app or journal to log your sessions.
Arrange your world for success: Organize your environment or immediate surroundings to support the action you want to take or the behavior you want to change.
Recruit a Support Team: Surround yourself with people who are successful at achieving their goals and/ or people who have similar goals as you do.
Treat Yourself: When you reward positive behaviors, you’re more likely to repeat them.
Then practice Breaking Tasks into Smaller Steps
Large tasks can be daunting, leading to procrastination. Breaking them down into smaller, manageable steps makes them more approachable.
Example 2: Practicing Meditation
– Step 1: Set a specific time each day for meditation, such as right after waking up.
– Step 2: Find a quiet, comfortable space where you won’t be disturbed.
– Step 3: Start with a brief session of 3-5 minutes to get accustomed to the practice.
– Step 4: Gradually increase the duration by 1-2 minutes each week until you reach your desired meditation time.
– Step 5: Use guided meditations or apps if needed to help maintain focus and structure.
By focusing on one step at a time, the task feels less overwhelming, and progress becomes more visible.
Finally, Create a To-Do List and Prioritize your Tasks
Creating a to-do list provides a clear roadmap for your day, reducing the temptation to procrastinate. Prioritizing tasks helps you focus on what’s most important.
Example 4: Daily To-Do List
1. Morning Meditation (10 minutes): Start your day with a focused and calm mind.
2. Read Meditation Book (25 minutes): Use the Pomodoro Technique to stay focused.
3. Work on Presentation for Work (2 hours): Break it down using the Pomodoro Technique for increased productivity.
4. Exercise (30 minutes): Physical activity to complement your mental well-being.
5. Evening Reflection (10 minutes): Review your day and plan for tomorrow.
Here are a few Additional Tips to try.
1. Eliminate Distractions: Identify and minimize potential distractions. This could mean turning off notifications on your phone or finding a quiet workspace.
2. Stay Organized: Keep your workspace tidy and have everything you need within reach to avoid unnecessary interruptions.
3. Use Positive Reinforcement: Reward yourself for completing tasks. This could be a small treat, a short break, or a fun activity.
By implementing these practical tips, you can enhance your motivation and productivity, making it easier to accomplish your goals and maintain a balanced, fulfilling lifestyle.
Let’s take a moment to hear from some of my clients. I received a question from Sarah in New York, who asked, “Holly, how do you stay motivated on days when you just don’t feel like doing anything?”
I think this is a great question, Sarah! On those days, I remind myself of my ‘why’—why I started this journey and what my ultimate goals are. I also practice self-compassion. It’s okay to have off days. On such days, I focus on completing just one small task to keep the momentum going, and I reward myself for the effort.
Another listener, Maria from San Francisco, shared her story about overcoming procrastination. She started using the Pomodoro Technique and found it incredibly helpful. Breaking her work into smaller intervals made it less overwhelming, and the regular breaks kept her energy levels up.
Remember, this is all about your personal Journey of Self-Discovery and Growth. What works for one person may not work for you. Overcoming procrastination and self-sabotage is not a quick fix but a journey of self-discovery, growth, and consistent action. It’s about learning to navigate fear, uncertainty, and discomfort and persisting in the pursuit of your goals.
Remember, progress is not always linear. There will be setbacks and challenges along the way. But each step forward, no matter how small, is a victory. Celebrate these moments and use them as fuel to keep moving forward.
As you embark on this journey, keep in mind that change takes time. Be kind to yourself and recognize that you’re making strides towards a more empowered, fulfilled self. Every effort you make to overcome these barriers is a step toward personal growth and achieving your dreams.
Thank you for joining me today on this episode of Say, “When!” I hope you found these insights and strategies helpful in your journey to overcome procrastination and self-sabotage. Remember, the key to transformation lies in taking action. Start small, be consistent, and celebrate your progress.
If you found today’s episode valuable, don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and leave a review. And if you’re ready to take the next step in your journey, I invite you to sign up for my Freedom From Diets Assessment. This Assessment is a transformative tool designed to liberate you from the constraints of diet culture and guide you toward true body peace and food freedom. You gain access to a comprehensive, four-part assessment that examines in detail how diet culture has influenced your mindset, eating habits, body confidence, and intuition. This isn’t just another questionnaire—it’s a personalized journey toward self-discovery, providing you with actionable steps tailored to your unique experiences and challenges. Plus, you receive a customized coaching video that I create for you based on your responses that offers specific guidance and support, helping you to implement changes that lead to a healthier, more joyful relationship with food and your body. It’s an investment in reclaiming your power over your diet, your body, and ultimately, your life. Visit my website at www.hollytoscanini.com to get started.
You can stay connected by following my podcast, “Say When!” and keep an eye out for upcoming workshops and masterclasses. If you have any questions or would like to suggest a topic or guest you’d like me to interview, send a DM or contact me at hollytoscanini.com, and follow me on social media for more tips, inspiration, and support.
Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your journey. Let’s reclaim our lives from the pressures of diet culture and embrace the freedom of intuitive living.
